Virtually everyone has moments when their decisions are influenced more by self-interest than empathy. Occasionally acting this way may not be ideal, but it usually doesn’t signify a significant psychological concern.

However, if someone regularly exhibits the 12 traits of a narcissist, they may be exhibiting the symptoms of a complex mental health condition.

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a mindset that is characterized by elevated sense of self-importance, a strong desire for admiration, and an inability to empathize with others. The term refers to Narcissus, a character from Greek mythology who fell in love with his own reflection in a pond.

Is Narcissism the Same as Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

In informal conversations, narcissism is sometimes used as a synonym for descriptors such as arrogance and selfishness. In those circumstances, the word simply reflects a personal opinion about the behavior of someone else.

However, when used by clinicians, narcissism has a more precise meaning. In this context, it refers to a mental health condition called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

As defined in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), NPD is characterized by three main traits:

• Pervasive pattern of grandiosity in fantasy or behavior
• Need for admiration
• Lack of empathy

To be accurately diagnosed with NPD, a person must meet at least five of the following nine criteria:

1. Having a grandiose sense of self-important, which may involve exaggerating their skills and achievements or expecting to be treated as a superior person
2. Being preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited power, beauty, brilliance, and success
3. Believing they are special or unique, can only be understood by other remarkable people, and should only associate with others who are also of particularly high status
4. Requiring excessive admiration
5. Expecting to receive favorable treatment and/or automatic compliance with their desires
6. Exploiting others for their own benefit
7. Being unable to identify with others’ feelings or needs
8. Envying others and/or assuming that others are envious of them
9. Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

What Are the 12 Traits of a Narcissist?

There is no definitive, universally agreed-upon list of the 12 traits of a narcissist. However, the characteristics listed below are common among people who have NPD or a tendency to act in a narcissistic manner.

1. Self-importance

Of the 12 traits of a narcissist, perhaps the most obvious one is their belief in their own self-importance. This belief informs their decision-making and influences their behaviors.

Narcissists will rarely put the needs of another before their own, nor will they defer to the wisdom or accomplishments of someone else, because they are driven by the need to establish and promote themselves as truly superior.

2. Arrogance

It probably won’t come as a surprise to learn that narcissists aren’t shy about expressing their sense of self-importance. They also won’t hesitate to display their disdain for those who they feel are beneath them – which, given the nature of narcissism, is likely to include the majority of the people they encounter.

Using demeaning language, ignoring or brusquely dismissing suggestions or critiques, and expecting others to display subservience are common signs of arrogance among narcissistic people.

3. Deep need for validation and adulation

Narcissists will freely express their belief in their own superiority, which may include taking credit for successes and achievements they never actually earned. But self-adulation isn’t rarely enough for most narcissists. They usually also expect to be regularly fawned over and celebrated by others. 

If they don’t receive the enthusiastic attention they believe they deserve, they may respond with anger, or simply pout until the spotlight shifts to them again.

4. Fragile self-esteem

Though narcissists often appear to have no shortage of confidence, the truth of the matter is that their outward expressions of self-aggrandizement may be masking an extremely fragile ego. 

This shaky sense of self-esteem helps to explain their continued demands for accolades from others. No matter how often they proclaim their own perfection, or how much praise they receive from others, even seemingly insignificant slights or oversights can prompt disproportionate demands for additional validation.

5. Fear of losing or being rejected

This trait of a narcissist is closely tied to the previous one. Narcissists will rarely put themselves in positions where they can lose. If they suspect they may not come out ahead, they are likely to cheat, sabotage their opponents, and take whatever measures they deem necessary to emerge victorious

In cases where a narcissist has clearly not prevailed, they are likely to either claim that their opponents cheated or the competition was unfair. It can be virtually impossible to get a narcissist to admit they were not the best. 

6. Refusing to take responsibility for problems

One area where the fragility of a narcissist’s self-esteem and their fear of losing can become quite obvious is their refusal to accept blame or take responsibility when anything goes wrong. 

If there is doubt about the cause of the problem, they will likely throw someone else under the proverbial bus. And if they are the clear cause of the problem, they will either simply deny this fact or blame someone else for preventing them from getting the job done correctly.

7. Lack of empathy

For a narcissist, it can be difficult or virtually impossible to identify with the thoughts and feelings of other people. If they act in a supportive manner toward someone else, that is likely due to their belief that the other person can help them accomplish a goal, not because they are actually invested in their success.

When a narcissist acts in a way that is harmful to another person, they are unlikely to feel shame or guilt, because they simply do not have the capacity to care about others except in the context of how others can help them.

8. Manipulation and exploitation

Someone who lacks empathy will have no problem manipulating or exploiting others in order to enrich themselves or achieve other goals. Depending on the situation, this narcissistic trait may involve:

• Making promises they have no intention of keeping, as a means of persuasion
• Using their actual or perceived power to threaten serious repercussions if someone doesn’t do what they want
• Exhibiting a false sense of compassion or support until their desires have been met, then abruptly casting the person aside

9. Failure to respect boundaries

Personal boundaries establish what behaviors we will and will not tolerate from others. They can be essential for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting our own mental health.

Unfortunately, narcissists are unlikely to respect other peoples’ boundaries. They will typically treat others however they see fit, regardless of the actual or potential negative impact of their behaviors. They may also disregard traditions, societal norms, and even laws when these limitations stand between them and what they want. 

10. Relationship problems

An unwillingness to respect personal boundaries is just one of many traits that can make it difficult for narcissists to maintain healthy relationships. Many other traits – such as lack of empathy, willingness to manipulate, need for adulation, and inability to accept blame or criticism – can also contribute to a pattern of relationship problems.

Narcissists often view relationships from a transactional or competitive perspective. And as established earlier in today’s post, their goals in these types of exchanges are to get what they want and to come out as the victor. Neither of these desires are conducive with mutually beneficial relationships.

11. Jealousy

Jealousy can be a driving factor for narcissists, both in how they view others and how they assume others view them.

Their arrogance and elevated sense of self-importance can cause narcissists to believe that others are jealous of who they are and what they have accomplished. Their fragile ego and overwhelming desire to be admired can cause them to envy others who they fear may eclipse them.

12. Obsession with power

Almost every other narcissistic characteristic in this list relates to an obsession with power. For example:

• Arrogance, lack of empathy, and tendency to manipulate reveal their desire to have power over whoever they come into contact with. 
• Failure to respect boundaries and ongoing need for validation are tied in with being the most powerful individual in a personal relationship. 
• Desire to win at all cost and willingness to blame others when things go awry are related to their need for power in business environments.

Learn More About Treatment for Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Georgia

Kingston Wellness Retreat offers personalized residential mental health treatment for those who have been exhibiting traits of narcissistic personality disorder and symptoms of other mental illnesses.

We also offer customized programming for patients whose mental health needs are accompanied by addictions to alcohol and other drugs.

To learn more about how we can help you or a loved one, or to schedule a free consultation, call us now at 770-884-6535 or verify your insurance.